Miseducation

     Everything is not what it seems. Even if it seems to be the way things are designed to be. Sometimes the conventional leaves far worse scars than the much feared alternative does. You live life the way you were taught to. You respect people the way you were taught to. You even love the way you were taught to. Only to find out years later that you were miseducated & led astray by incompetents who claim no responsibility for their negligence or even acknowledge it, no less. So now you're out in the world, lost. Swimming in the ocean of life & you don't even have a lifesaver to keep you from drowning. What you thought you knew, isn't really what you should know at all. So now you're just out here, winging it. Naive, misguided, & impressionable. And most times, you fall victim to those that prey on your kind. They feed off of your energy because in a sense, it is innocent & childlike because you seek guidance for issues you should have prior knowledge about. 

      You don't even really know what is going on in this matrix of life. So they take advantage of you because you can be molded & manipulated & they you shape into what they want you to be. You believe the illusion. Of course you would. You are completely oblivious to the fact that it is not reality but yet an altered form of it. But before you know it, that "new-play-thing" luster has worn off of you & they see a less tainted, more easily manipulated individual just skipping down the path & they shove you into the thorned bushes. Perplexed, resentful & wounded, you're left there to pluck all those thorns from yourself & carry on down the path of life only to cross paths with many more just like this. That innocence & naivety morphs into disdain & bitterness. You are now the opposite of the person you were once destined to be. You've changed. Not necessarily because you want to but as a survival tactic & defense mechanism. 

     There's this girl. She beautiful, graceful, & alluring. Many often tell her she is exotic, but she doesn't think so. She laughs it off. She's just humble in that way. Physical attributes aside, she's eloquent, cultured & surprisingly quite intelligent. Not what you'd expect from a girl who looks the way she does. She possesses all the qualities a man would want in a woman, a wife, a partner in life. She gives off this aura of warm approachability & confidence that people love to be in the presence of. She's the girl you go shoe shopping with & gossip with. She's the girl who holds your hair back when you vomit after a wild night. She's even the girl who cooks you anything just to put a smile on your face & looks for nothing in return. 

     But truth is, she's probably hurting worse than you. You have no idea all the pain this one unfortunate soul has endured in her short life. She's never one to want people to feel sorry for her because she's an independent spirit who really wants nothing from anyone. But her miseducation has rendered her paralyzed in a sense. She looks into the eyes of her reflection and doesn't even recognize the person she has been forced to become. She longs to know her former self, the one she is truly meant to be. That girl, the former her, is meant for greatness. But now this girl, her current self, is just full of self-doubt, regret, & insecurity. The hope that her former self will one day return helps her to maintain a happy face & conceal the scars on her spirit. 

     She fights to maintain the glimpses of her former self & keep those memories fresh but people, these creatures that inhabit the Earth that she was once taught have caring hearts, are deteriorating her already poorly constructed shield with their constant attack on her spirit. She is withdrawn & maybe even a little antisocial but her "Save face" mentality thrusts her into the company of the same ones who could potentially harm her even more. She just wishes to be loved & accepted, something that is so foreign to her. All her life, she has been looking for love in all the wrong places when really all she had to do was look in the mirror. She's beginning to learn that her reflection will love her more than anyone ever can & there's no need to continue searching because it's been there all the time, she just wasn't looking hard enough. Or maybe she wasn't ready. Whatever the case, she gets it now. She understands. She re-educates. She rebuilds. She is me.

If you though this seemed a bit vague & esoteric, then you'd be correct.