Beyonce On Top

So as I'm pulling an all-nighter filming & editing videos, I stumble across this little gem....Beyonce's teaser for her next video which is for "Love On Top." It kinda has like this 80s/New Edition vibe to it but it works. And I must say, Bey is looking fucking boughettoly GORG with her lil captain's hat thingy I'm sure she fought tooth & nail with Ms. West over & her lil hi-top sneaks I'm sure cost more than what I earn in 6 months. Accessories aside, I didn't spot the one I was looking for....the outline of the Supreme Ruler of ALL Celeb Kids (past present & FUTURE...even in utero, the Smiths kids get defecated on), the protrusion of all things Bootylicious & Brooklyn-esque, the baby bump of the fetus Knowles-Carter. *sighs* I guess she does what I do...film in bulk & release on a schedule.

In Utero Couture

A peek at the baby bump aka my future niece or nephew.

Confession. I cried when Beyonce announced she was pregnant. [Just a drop or two....5 mins worth. Dont judge me.] It damn near felt like it was me who was pregnant, or better yet...like I WAS THE ONE who knocked her up! Immediately I thought of all the cute pregnant outfits she'd be photo'd wearing and could not wait! The white bikini the other week was just too cute. Loved it!! I was like, "Aww look at my little niece or nephew (preferably niece) in my sister's belly." Then this ensemble (left) was really cute & unusually casual for what we're accustomed to seeing Beyonce in. But she is pregnant, so time to hang them red bottoms up honey cus those feet are gonna swell more than a can of burst biscuits. Get that epsom salt ready girl! Your gonna need it! Aside from that, I really like their relationship, even though their secretive asses never talk about it. Guess that's what makes us like them together so much is that they don't whore out their relationship & overexpose it like their careers. I love that they protect the bond that they have. Wanna know what I love even more?? The fact that they did it right. Yea, Jay might have some secret kids somewhere but we ain't talking about them right now cus we can't 100% confirm those stories. But these two got their careers established & became more successful than they could have probably ever imagined, got married, settled into being married and THEN decided to crank out some tax dependants. I pray they will be as successful at parenthood as they are at their careers.

Pink Pretzels

So our girl Ménage à trois is trippin' yet again. For the life of me I can't figure out why she dresses like this?? I'm all for creativity, individuality & being iconic But this shit right here son....smh. Keep this up Onika and you'll be disowned & deleted from the "Circle" in my head. I can't figure out if I'm more saddened by that bow she stole off some unsuspecting suburban family's Christmas wreath, that partially neapolitan ice cream wig [that I'll take in #1b, thank you] or that pussy pink pretzel necklace. If I were her, I woulda salted that pretzel with diamonds & shit...I'm just saying. *shrugs* 

Everybody wants to be so different. Where's old Nicki at when you need her??

Damn her & that steel wool skirt to hell. I rebuke this shit!!

Karma

At least she's giving us good hair. *shrugs*

So word is Swizzy is cheating on Ms Keys...

[insert crickets]

Who didn't see that coming?? Like, let's be real. This rumor is right on time actually. I figured it'd be about a year or so before there'd be some rumor surfacing about one of his side pieces who forgot their place. But Alicia, girl can you really be mad?? It was you who had a hit song named "Karma" so therefore you know a thing or two about it. Now you're getting a firsthand taste of the medicine you force fed poor ol' Mashonda. All she was tryna do was get her potentially flopworthy debut album completed & released and here you come with your child-bearing hips talking 'bout some try sleeping with a broken heart & stealing her man.

Bald Envy

I wish I had her courage. But then again...Nahhhhh. I love hair too much. Plus....I've got a big head. Like, my shit is massive. I wonder what color my scalp is....??